May 14 2008
Light-fingered larcenists try to lift light poles
Two dim suspects were arrested in New York recently for stealing aluminum street light poles stashed in storage. The masterminds had concocted a scheme to carve up the poles, which cost the local government approximately $1,000 each, then sell the chopped-up remains as scrap and reap the whopping ill-gotten profit of $150 a piece. Scrap metal? Dudes, really? Haven’t you ever heard of eBay?
The two men were captured before they could abscond with their gleaming silver-toned booty and charged with larceny. Authorities stated that they are working to reduce this kind of metal malice, which is all too common with copper wire, a much more valuable scrap commodity.
While their piecemeal logic leaves clearer minds in the dark, one thing is for certain: aluminum can hoarders all across New York state are now locking their garages.
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