weirdnews

A Connecticut man learned that a pet’s bark isn’t worse than its bite when he tried to sic his snake on two police officers responding to a domestic disturbance call. Seems the slimy suspect kept threatening his girlfriend with the only long, impressive asset he had—a nine-foot albino python. Police were incredibly unimpressed when they opened the door, according to press reports, and the man commanded the snake to ‘Get them!’ It didn’t. So much for all those obedience lessons.

The perp and his python were taken into custody. Hopefully the girlfriend will read the next personal ad a bit closer when it mentions a love of Whitesnake.